Looking for Sox Tickets
Oh my Lord...
Sometime in the future, when I haven't posted anything in more than two weeks and feel resplendently guilty about my neglect of this blog, I may tell the story of how I, a kid from Tulsa, Oklahoma, became a die-hard, hopelessly obsessed fan of the (now) World Champion Boston Red Sox. For now, let it suffice as proof of my devotion to the Sox that I reveal to you my willingness to sell almost everything of value that I own in order to buy a pair of tickets to this year's home opener.
For it is at this game that the Red Sox will raise a World Series Championship pennant for the first time since 1918. With the New York Yankees, the most vile bunch of overpaid miscreants in baseball, most memorable and deserving victims of 2004's inexorable march of Sox National Destiny, watching from the visitor's dugout while the Fenway Park crowd rains derision down on their damned ears.
My Christmas gift from my parents was the right to use their credit card to buy tickets to this game when they become available, which they will on February 19th. As you might imagine, demand for these tickets is rather high. So high, in fact, that some of the best seats that have already been released (or will be released to season ticket holders) are being bid on for as much or more than five thousand dollars on eBay. There are other seats available on eBay for closer to five or six hundred bucks, and I would gladly pay as much for them, but what I really want is to get them from the box office, where the most I'll pay is $85 bucks a pop.
And the Sox haven't e-mailed me yet to tell me whether or not I've been selected for the opportunity to buy those tickets. Woe, oh woe is me.
As ridiculous as the whole affair must seem to rational observers, no true Red Sox fan is capable of being rational when it comes to this subject; so I can't really be angry about the prospect of paying close to a thousand dollars to watch a baseball game. The symbolic importance of the moment when the championship banner is revealed could not be expressed by Shakespeare himself. For the last eighty-six years, that "1918 World Champions" banner looked down on the fans of New England, signifying our wretchedness beneath the sword of an intractable oppressor - seemingly inescapable Fate - who twisted it a fraction further in our collective belly with each passing year. Shortly after 3:05 pm on April 11th, we will have a new symbol, a new flag for a new Red Sox nation, born again and free of that cruel Leviathan, Fate. Her sword will be beaten into Win Shares. Tens of millions of people have waited their entire lives to see it happen. It is the final act in the Nation's liberation saga. With only 35,000 seats available in the holy park, it would be more perplexing to see a good seat going for anything less than five grand.
My car is a 1995 Mitsubishi Montero LS. 3.5L V6 engine, 210 horsepower, new brakes, new CD/Stereo, 102,000 miles. Tickets to the Red Sox home opener constitute the only possible best offer.
Sometime in the future, when I haven't posted anything in more than two weeks and feel resplendently guilty about my neglect of this blog, I may tell the story of how I, a kid from Tulsa, Oklahoma, became a die-hard, hopelessly obsessed fan of the (now) World Champion Boston Red Sox. For now, let it suffice as proof of my devotion to the Sox that I reveal to you my willingness to sell almost everything of value that I own in order to buy a pair of tickets to this year's home opener.
For it is at this game that the Red Sox will raise a World Series Championship pennant for the first time since 1918. With the New York Yankees, the most vile bunch of overpaid miscreants in baseball, most memorable and deserving victims of 2004's inexorable march of Sox National Destiny, watching from the visitor's dugout while the Fenway Park crowd rains derision down on their damned ears.
My Christmas gift from my parents was the right to use their credit card to buy tickets to this game when they become available, which they will on February 19th. As you might imagine, demand for these tickets is rather high. So high, in fact, that some of the best seats that have already been released (or will be released to season ticket holders) are being bid on for as much or more than five thousand dollars on eBay. There are other seats available on eBay for closer to five or six hundred bucks, and I would gladly pay as much for them, but what I really want is to get them from the box office, where the most I'll pay is $85 bucks a pop.
And the Sox haven't e-mailed me yet to tell me whether or not I've been selected for the opportunity to buy those tickets. Woe, oh woe is me.
As ridiculous as the whole affair must seem to rational observers, no true Red Sox fan is capable of being rational when it comes to this subject; so I can't really be angry about the prospect of paying close to a thousand dollars to watch a baseball game. The symbolic importance of the moment when the championship banner is revealed could not be expressed by Shakespeare himself. For the last eighty-six years, that "1918 World Champions" banner looked down on the fans of New England, signifying our wretchedness beneath the sword of an intractable oppressor - seemingly inescapable Fate - who twisted it a fraction further in our collective belly with each passing year. Shortly after 3:05 pm on April 11th, we will have a new symbol, a new flag for a new Red Sox nation, born again and free of that cruel Leviathan, Fate. Her sword will be beaten into Win Shares. Tens of millions of people have waited their entire lives to see it happen. It is the final act in the Nation's liberation saga. With only 35,000 seats available in the holy park, it would be more perplexing to see a good seat going for anything less than five grand.
My car is a 1995 Mitsubishi Montero LS. 3.5L V6 engine, 210 horsepower, new brakes, new CD/Stereo, 102,000 miles. Tickets to the Red Sox home opener constitute the only possible best offer.
posted by Dr. Chuck | 11:43 PM
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