Someone please smash my face open
A list of the shit I had to swallow today:
1) The knowledge that I spent thirteen hours on Sunday in the same bar drinking gins and tonic, leaving only to get music out of my car. That is what is known as a Churchillian Bender.
2) Yup, I got fucked on another apartment. I am still stuck in FUCKING ITHACA.
3) Theo Epstein resigned (funny, I never noticed how close that word is to re-signed...damn) as the General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, leaving the front office door wide open for some asshole to come in, ship the farm system off to Siberia, start spending money like Steinbrenner (high dollars, no yield), and generally fuck the Red Sox right up all over again. Just when I thought they were actually going to pull off an even bigger miracle than winning the World Series and become permanently ill-suited to the word "dysfunctional."
Let me just get something out of the way, accordingly: Congratulations to the 2006 World Champion New York Yankees. Just watch, and see how right I'm proven. I'll bet they beat the Cubs in 7 games. On a home run by Alex Rodriguez. In the ninth inning. With two outs. And the game will be played in New York because Derrek Lee made a crucial error in the All-Star game that allowed the American League to narrowly win the thing, securing their pennant winners' home-field advantage in the World Series.
Christ. I'm going to go bleed myself to death from my toenails.
4) I ain't asleep yet, and I'm something else bad will happen. Maybe I'll set my apartment on fire. Check back tomorrow to see if I tried to escape.
1) The knowledge that I spent thirteen hours on Sunday in the same bar drinking gins and tonic, leaving only to get music out of my car. That is what is known as a Churchillian Bender.
2) Yup, I got fucked on another apartment. I am still stuck in FUCKING ITHACA.
3) Theo Epstein resigned (funny, I never noticed how close that word is to re-signed...damn) as the General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, leaving the front office door wide open for some asshole to come in, ship the farm system off to Siberia, start spending money like Steinbrenner (high dollars, no yield), and generally fuck the Red Sox right up all over again. Just when I thought they were actually going to pull off an even bigger miracle than winning the World Series and become permanently ill-suited to the word "dysfunctional."
Let me just get something out of the way, accordingly: Congratulations to the 2006 World Champion New York Yankees. Just watch, and see how right I'm proven. I'll bet they beat the Cubs in 7 games. On a home run by Alex Rodriguez. In the ninth inning. With two outs. And the game will be played in New York because Derrek Lee made a crucial error in the All-Star game that allowed the American League to narrowly win the thing, securing their pennant winners' home-field advantage in the World Series.
Christ. I'm going to go bleed myself to death from my toenails.
4) I ain't asleep yet, and I'm something else bad will happen. Maybe I'll set my apartment on fire. Check back tomorrow to see if I tried to escape.
posted by Dr. Chuck | 10:48 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home